I have gotten in to a habit of making the most insane reasons for problems, recent themes have included "The space time continuum" or other sci-fi-esque themes. Such as:

"So why was my server slow?" (he'd set his NIC to 10Mbps-HD)
"There was a misalignment in the space time continuum" not the funniest but when you're dealing with lots of these people you have to entertain yourself somehow