This is a great thread. lol "We added this fee to your account because of enhanced revenue opportunities."

If any customer care reps ever tell you "Our systems are updating." Means the whole thing is crashed out and they have no idea when it is going to be fixed. I must have used that line a thousand times working for the old AT&T Wireless. Give me some time and I'll remember a whole lot more lines like this.

"Vendor issues" is another good one. It just means we screwed up and we're blaming someone else because we're tired of being yelled at on the phone.