i really hate my bf's family They're nice and all but there's one thing that i hate about them....they always ask my bf for money.... ...i mean they're not teenagers...they're 30-40 years old for god's sake. Two of his older brothers recently got laid off and one asked my bf for money .....to TRAVEL to another country (to enjoy their time off). WTF! If you don't have money, don't travel.... The other one asked for 1000USD ....to buy his kid's toys.... I always try to tell my bf to stop giving them money but he thinks his brothers need money for emergency. F*** that. The thing is my bf can't say no ...how do i make him to say NO to his brothers? I really hate them

oh ..and in case you wonder....no my bf ain't rich...although he got a decent job but we still watch what we buy...and even use coupons to save some cents meanwhile his family thinks my bf is a bank where they can get money whenever they wanted to
..... arghhhh i really hate them

Looks like someone stuck a nerve there....

Do you hate THEM or do you hate you boyfriend giving them money for immature spending?

Best way to deal with this is to have a nice plain talk. Ask him to give his older brothers a lecture on how to save money instead of spending it on joyful travelling (if that is really the case).

Talk is the best pill.

Good luck.

The more he gives the more they will take by the sounds of it.

Sometimes, no matter how close you are, it's best to back off when it comes to affairs of the family.
This is an issue for your BF and his family to deal with. Don't make him start taking sides.

i've told him about not giving them money unless they REALLY need it but doesn't help yes, one of his brothers is going out of the country in a week for 1 month and asked some money from my bf....WTF! And you know what ?? they don't ask for $100, or $200, etc. They ALWAYS ask for at least $500 ....

you're right but when you think about commiting your life with him in the long run, i hate to see him giving money to his older brothers like that. I've told him to save money so we can have a nice wedding, save money to buy our first home, etc. I don't have him, i just hate his family

Sounds like you need to get a joint bank account for savings.

(Also... why does he not lend them the money instead of just giving it to them?)

sounds like a good idea.....I'll see what i can do

he lends them money but they NEVER give back ........that's why i'm pissed. .....i guess my bf loves them dearly and they kind of take advantage of him

Perhaps you should get married immediately and be in charge of his finance !
just kidding but sure is a good idea, agree?

Frankly speaking, it is no point persuading yr BF as he is one who treasure kinship aka same like me

and I can tell you, it is very difficult to reject, let alone lecturing.

My suggestion to you (for you, to yr BF) is to try and minimise the amount. If somemore wants to borrow eg $500, just tell them don't have so much as you plan to buy a new PC or whatever, chnaces are they will always accept whatever amount so long as you give. so, just donate $1-200 lor

That is how I manged after "donating" many thousands

after a long lecture session with him, i yelled, i cried, i begged, etc. he finally agrees and promises me that he will say no (or at least give them 1/2 of what they ask).... next time......arghh i wish there was no "next time" .... oh well ...we'll see ... i'll keep you all updated ..LOL

Another way...........you "borrow" from him all his money lor!
and leave him a pauper with no money to lend others
just kidding ...
wish you all the best !

well good luck. Relationships can be hard most of time but you have to always find solutions and build your life on it . Talking will make the most impact.
Best Of Wishes!