Clients That Make You Laugh

T

The-Pixel

~Pixel Queen~
Greetings,

What is something a client said to you whether is was via e-mail, live chat, support ticket, etc... that made you laugh at how ridiculous it sounded or was?
 
There was a client one time, that submitted a ticket that said I love my cat. That gave me a pretty great laugh. There was another client who always called support technicians dear.
 
I just had a client yesterday that needed step by step instructions on how to use an FTP program and how to modify links in an HTML page. This in itself is not funny, this is reality. The funny part is that they are a "web design company" with "5 years experience and hundreds of clients". Turns out that this guy will actually outsource all the work as he knows nothing about it, but how do you make such a claim and know NOTHING about how the web actually works!
 
I had a support ticket and when I opened it it said "I love peanuts" I so wanted to reply back and say, "I love cashews" haha.
 
handsonhosting said:
I just had a client yesterday that needed step by step instructions on how to use an FTP program and how to modify links in an HTML page. This in itself is not funny, this is reality. The funny part is that they are a "web design company" with "5 years experience and hundreds of clients". Turns out that this guy will actually outsource all the work as he knows nothing about it, but how do you make such a claim and know NOTHING about how the web actually works!
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That's crazy! Wow if the client took the time to learn things they could save money and headache relaying on other people to do the work for them.
 
handsonhosting said:
;) I take it that it was a spammer and your email automatically imports into the helpdesk?
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It was a company I worked for and yes, they had an numerous amount of spam. I spoke to the manager at the time about it and he pretty much said, "Oh, well". So, I never said anything more about it. Even if it was spam it made me laugh :)
 
Outsourcing in my opinion is not a good idea. It may be cheap but I rather hire someone from the U.S. than india, china, or what ever country out there.
 
Not really web hosting related, but still indicitive of some clients. Years ago, had a call from a client who said her monitor wasn't coming up (no display) - turns out she had her brightness knob turned all the way down. And yes, also took a call from a client who said his machine wasn't turning on - didn't have it plugged in. And one from a Brokerage firm - said they couldn't print - didn't have any paper in the machine. True stories - all charge calls.
 
Steve-Hostirian said:
Not really web hosting related, but still indicitive of some clients. Years ago, had a call from a client who said her monitor wasn't coming up (no display) - turns out she had her brightness knob turned all the way down. And yes, also took a call from a client who said his machine wasn't turning on - didn't have it plugged in. And one from a Brokerage firm - said they couldn't print - didn't have any paper in the machine. True stories - all charge calls.
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You would think that would be easy money but with something so 'stupid' it can be extremely frustration. I'm sure your main reaction when you hung up the phone was 'WOW' haha.

Regarding the monitor story I think I would have them check all wires, make sure the computer is on, restart it... I wouldn't really think about checking the contrast button.
 
On the monitor call, I actually went on site, because she described everything as normal. I thought maybe the high voltage power supply, deflection board or tube had just failed. Took all of 2 minutes to figure it out. At that time, my first hour labor rate was $180.00.

On an unrelated call, I was told a client's film processor was developing blanks. (No image). On film processors, you develop film in chemicals - first with developer, then fix, wash and dry. We're talking about a $7000 processor. This client had switched the developer and fix chemicals, so they were fixing the film before they developed it - so of course it was blank. The tricky part, after figuring out what happened, was how to tell the client what they did - with some tact.
 
I can one up the no paper story. Typesetters use rolls of light sensitive film to print on (flash, CRT or laser) (now they just go straight to plate) - I took a call on a new install where they said it wouldn't print - the operator had put a stack of regular 8 1/2 x 11 bond paper in the machine. The operator told them she went to one week of training at our facility, but she never showed up - thought she knew it all. Turns out she just took the whole week off and told her employer she attended classes. OUCH.
 
one client need help took me 7 hours chat with me and he still not understand how register name server :):smash:
 
There's just no way that I could have the patience for seven hours of repeating myself in that manner! I like the method that Lesli recommended-that you write up a how to and send it to the client. The same document can be used over and over and it saves you time and frustration.
 
I was working in a company. At the time of sales talk client asked that which plateform he should choose linux or windows, then I asked in which language your site is developed. "English" he replied.
 
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